Volume One, Chapter Two: Forced to Push Her Husband Away

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Xie Zhi’an had come back to Yejing on official business and had no time to return home. It was only because Shen Yurou came to visit that he specially took half a day off to accompany her. Originally, they had planned to stroll through the market together, and she had been looking forward to it with all her heart. But after bathing, she felt utterly drained of strength. Bearing all those bruises, she felt she had no face to show herself. Just as she was about to write a letter and ask a servant to deliver it to the military camp, there came a knock at the door.

“Rou Niang, is that you?”

It was Xie Zhi’an.

Shen Yurou’s eyes instantly reddened. She hurriedly got out of bed and rushed to open the door. Xie Zhi’an stood at the threshold, his expression somewhat anxious.

“What happened to you...?”

Her delicate body suddenly flung itself into his arms. Shen Yurou held him tightly, as if by doing so, all those humiliations could be kept at bay. Though married, they had yet to consummate their union. Xie Zhi’an stood frozen, his mind blank, only the soft, yielding sensation growing ever clearer. Seeing him like a statue, she teased, “Husband, won’t you hug your Rou Niang?”

As if awakening from a dream, Xie Zhi’an stiffly wrapped his arms around her.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Hmm, my body doesn’t feel well.”

The heavy nasal tone required no pretense.

Xie Zhi’an’s heart clenched. He bent down and carried her into the room. Her silk skirt swayed, and a pair of pale, tender feet came into his view. His Adam’s apple rolled, but he did not look away. Instead, he reached out, scooped her up horizontally in his arms.

Shen Yurou’s whole being was lifted high, her body and soul stirred. Through the not-so-thin clothes, the heat radiating from Xie Zhi’an’s chest enveloped her. He laid her gently on the bed and pulled the quilt over her. His hand wandered restlessly beneath it.

The warm palm, as though guided by sight, immediately found her foot. The touch was icy cold, smooth as jade. Startled, Shen Yurou tried to withdraw, but Xie Zhi’an held on firmly.

“Don’t be shy, Rou Niang. Your husband will warm you. Your feet are so cold; be careful not to let your illness worsen.”

The emphasis was unmistakably on “husband.”

Her struggling weakened, and Shen Yurou lowered her gaze in embarrassment. A muffled laugh emerged from Xie Zhi’an’s chest as he took her foot again and began to massage it. The originally cold foot soon grew warm. Along with the heat came the flush on Shen Yurou’s face. The surrounding air thickened with warmth.

The atmosphere became perfectly intimate. Xie Zhi’an propped himself on the edge of the bed and leaned over. Shen Yurou was startled and quickly pulled the quilt higher, secretly tightening her collar beneath it, determined not to let him see the marks on her body.

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Xie Zhi’an smiled gently. “Are you afraid?”

Shen Yurou looked at him steadily and shook her head.

“I... I’m a bit cold. Maybe... it’s inconvenient...”

Her quiet voice was like a mosquito’s buzz beneath the quilt, muffled yet piercing Xie Zhi’an’s heart. The girl’s face flushed unnaturally, whether from stuffiness or true discomfort, he could not tell.

His expression grew serious, and he raised the back of his hand to her forehead.

“You do have a slight fever.”

He suddenly stood up.

“I’ll go buy you some food. You should get a good rest.”

Xie Zhi’an’s footsteps were somewhat clumsy as he left, tinged with a hint of the awkwardness of fleeing. Shen Yurou felt miserable. This was the day she had longed for so eagerly, yet now she had to push her husband away with her own hands. It felt as if a heavy stone were lodged in her chest, making it hard to breathe.

Exhausted, Shen Yurou eventually fell asleep without realizing it.

When she awoke again, dusk was near. Golden light filled the room. Xie Zhi’an sat by the bed, surrounded by a halo of light.

Shen Yurou reached out to tug at his sleeve.

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

“You were sleeping so soundly—I couldn’t bear to.”

Their hands intertwined as they smiled at each other, all previous awkwardness vanishing.

“Get up and eat something. I even bought medicine. If you don’t, it’ll get cold.”

Shen Yurou obediently rose. On the table, besides a bowl of medicinal soup, were an array of snacks. Xie Zhi’an held chopsticks, serving dish after dish to Shen Yurou. She accepted them all without refusal. Her little mouth was filled to bursting, and her heart felt equally full.

After the meal, Xie Zhi’an wanted to leave, but Shen Yurou frowned.

“Isn’t today your day off?”

“The sky’s about to darken, and I have duty tonight.”

“Oh!” Shen Yurou’s spirits dipped. “You’ll break camp and head back to the Western Frontier early tomorrow, won’t you?”

She shouldn’t have overslept; at the very least, she should have spent more time talking with her husband. They didn’t know when they would meet again after this parting. Her thoughts were written plainly on her face, evoking sympathy.

Xie Zhi’an stroked her hair reassuringly.

“There will be many chances in the future.”

But Shen Yurou couldn’t lift her spirits. How many chances were there? In these three years, this was the only one—and she had missed it. They say the realm of tenderness is a hero’s tomb; now Xie Zhi’an truly understood.

Before marriage, their relationship had never been so close. He had never even paid her much attention.

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It was fate. His betrothal to Shen Yuwan had been annulled, and the Shen family had promised Shen Yurou to him instead. He had complained about this at first, thinking the Shen family, seeing the Xie family’s decline, had offered an unloved illegitimate daughter as a mere consolation. But time revealed her true character.

For so many years, she had managed the household affairs alone. With his widowed mother and sister, who were difficult to get along with, she never once complained.

This meeting filled him with joy. The little girl he hadn’t seen for years had grown up, fresh and lively, stirring his heart profoundly. He truly felt he had found a treasure.

Xie Zhi’an gently drew her close and stroked her hair stroke by stroke.

“Be good, Rou Niang. Later you can go to the market by yourself. Today’s a festival; the streets are lively with many curious and exotic things. If you’re lucky, you might even see the Great General of the Western Garrison.”

“Why would I want to see him?”

“Our general is said to surpass Ziji and even Pan An in talent and looks. I hear he’s of extremely noble status.”

Finally, Shen Yurou smiled, playfully punching his chest.

“You’re so ridiculous!”

Seeing her smile at last, Xie Zhi’an felt relieved. He took her hand again and whispered many intimate words. They nestled close until the golden light completely faded.

After Xie Zhi’an left, Shen Yurou got ready to go out. That bowl of medicine reminded her of something—something urgent she had to attend to immediately.

Tonight, Yejing City was bustling with activity. Men and women strolled in pairs or small groups, the scene lively and festive.

“The Great General is here! The Great General is patrolling the streets over there!”

Someone shouted amid the crowd.

“Quick, find a good spot!”

“Run, run! If you’re late, you won’t see him!”

The crowd surged toward the street. But Shen Yurou did not follow. Gathering the thin veil over her hat, she went against the flow toward the herbal medicine shop at the end of the street.

The shopkeeper’s wife was a talkative woman who, upon seeing a customer, immediately launched into conversation.

“I just heard someone say the Western Garrison army will pass by the next street soon. Where did you come from, miss? Did you see anything? Is it still in time to go? Is the Great General really leading the troops? That general is a legend; ever since he took command, the Western barbarians have never dared set foot in Daye. Those barbarians are as strong as oxen, but they don’t dare to act rashly. That general must be the reincarnation of a war god!”