Chapter 64: "Secret Admiration"

At the dinner table, Zhang Xiaofeng mulled over her thoughts again and again, finally resolving to be honest with Zhou Ran. Otherwise, she felt the secret would suffocate her.

“Zhou Ran, I have something to tell you!” Zhang Xiaofeng gathered all her courage and spoke loudly to Zhou Ran.

“Huh? What’s the matter? Don’t rush, take your time!” Zhou Ran, who had been calmly picking up some food, was caught off guard by Zhang Xiaofeng’s words and didn’t quite know how to react.

He quietly put the food back onto his plate, then sat obediently in his chair, listening to Zhang Xiaofeng as attentively as a schoolchild.

Yet Zhang Xiaofeng didn’t speak immediately. She needed a moment to organize her thoughts before telling Zhou Ran. She feared that after she shared this, would they still remain friends? Or would she become a stranger to him?

While waiting for Zhang Xiaofeng to speak, Zhou Ran's mind spun through a thousand possible reasons—from a bathroom explosion, to the reunification of the country, to alien invasions, and even the collapse of the universe. Only when Zhang Xiaofeng had finally sorted out her words did she begin.

“Actually, I…”

Just as Zhang Xiaofeng was about to speak, something suddenly clicked in her mind. In that instant, she finally understood what had puzzled her for days.

It dawned on her—she liked Zhou Ran. It wasn’t because of a fleeting romance born from acting together, nor was it some hormonal illusion. She simply, purely liked him.

In fact, the very first time she met Zhou Ran, the feeling had already been there. It’s just that neither of them had realized it at the time.

Now she understood, because every moment spent with Zhou Ran brought her joy, a feeling she never had with anyone else.

Whenever she was with Zhou Ran, she felt carefree and relaxed, unburdened by worries. She could share anything with him during their conversations, even if sometimes Zhou Ran’s responses were a little blunt.

That feeling had been present since their first meeting, though Zhang Xiaofeng had mistaken it for the admiration one feels for an idol.

And that flutter in her heart when Zhou Ran kissed her for the first time—that must have been what people call “falling for someone.”

After confirming her feelings for Zhou Ran, Zhang Xiaofeng felt a great weight lifted from her. Most anxieties come in the moments of uncertainty; once things are settled, the tension fades, replaced by relief.

“Sister Xiaofeng, what’s wrong? Sister Xiaofeng? What were you about to say?” Zhou Ran saw her freeze mid-sentence and, after a long silence, waved his hand in front of her eyes and called out.

“Ah, oh, it’s nothing!” Zhou Xiaofeng was pulled back to reality by Zhou Ran.

Now that she understood her feelings, she decided not to confess them to Zhou Ran. There was no need to rush. She preferred to let her affection grow gradually, approaching him slowly without haste.

Still, she needed a plausible reason to cover for her hesitation—something convincing, lest Zhou Ran see through her. After all, he wasn’t foolish.

“The reason I invited you today was to tell you something—I’ve always been your fan, and these past few days, working with you on set has made me feel nervous because of it,” Zhang Xiaofeng chose to tell Zhou Ran a half-truth.

She recalled hearing somewhere that the most believable lies are always seven parts truth and three parts falsehood—the truth is unimportant, the falsehood is the key.

“Really? You’re my fan?” Zhou Ran was surprised by her words; he hadn’t expected this.

“It’s true! I’m not lying. If you don’t believe me, look.” Zhang Xiaofeng saw Zhou Ran’s reaction and knew her gentle lie had succeeded. To bolster his trust, she deliberately took out the ticket from her phone case—the one from Zhou Ran’s concert she had attended.

“Oh wow, seriously? You really are my fan!” Zhou Ran had been skeptical at first, but when Zhang Xiaofeng produced the concert ticket, he was convinced. There was no way she could have prepared that in advance. Coupled with her reasonable story, Zhou Ran had no choice but to believe her.

Now everything made sense to him: no wonder Zhang Xiaofeng had seemed so shy and evasive lately—it was because of this.

“Sister Xiaofeng, I can’t believe you’re my fan! That’s such an honor for me!” Zhou Ran, feeling he’d finally figured everything out, picked up his glass, poured himself an “82 vintage” Pepsi, and toasted Zhang Xiaofeng like an adult.

“Yes, I just needed to tell you—otherwise, I’ve been so nervous these past few days!” Zhang Xiaofeng smiled and clinked her drink with Zhou Ran’s.

After the toast, Zhou Ran focused on his food again—he really was starving.

With her feelings clear, Zhang Xiaofeng saw Zhou Ran in a new light. He suddenly seemed more handsome, radiating a charm that hadn’t been there before.

Perhaps this was the legendary “beauty in the eye of the beholder”—even a tortoise could find a green bean attractive. The more she looked at Zhou Ran, the more handsome he became.

Now she finally understood what it meant to be moved by someone—what it felt like to like someone.

It was the joy that bubbled up whenever she saw him, a happiness without reason, the way his image would pop into her mind at unexpected moments.

In that private room, a harmonious atmosphere prevailed. Zhou Ran was engrossed in his meal, while Zhang Xiaofeng sat across from him, gazing at him in a daze, a silly smile on her face.

She wished time could freeze in this moment, so she wouldn’t have to worry about anything else—just foolishly watch him.

This was the feeling of first love: so tender, so beautiful. Sometimes, even secret crushes could taste so sweet.