Chapter Eleven: Even Bathwater Smells Sweet if One Is Beautiful

"Ruby, food, food! If you don’t come here, I’ll have to eat frogs, and they really don’t taste good at all."
Rather than saying Aqua isn’t right in the head, it’s more accurate to say her thinking simply doesn’t match that of ordinary people. Now she was tugging at Ruby’s hand, begging to be fed, while Mayuna conjured up an image of eating frogs that sent an involuntary shiver down her spine.
"Alright."
Ruby didn’t make things difficult for her and simply handed over her box of fish feed. This feed was mixed according to the golden ratio from Earth—no fish could resist its flavor. In a way, Aqua counted as a fish as well.
"Does that make you the owner of this mermaid?"
"It’s just mutual assistance. I take care of her, and she maintains the water quality of this lake."
Ruby answered Mayuna’s question simply, then put a lure on her own fishing rod and continued to fish.
"I see."
Mayuna nodded in understanding. She’d been wondering if the lake’s water was related to the mermaid. After all, sea folk were the favorites of the water gods—no one was better suited to water magic than they were.
"Ruby, when will you finally agree to mate with me?"
Aqua, having finished the fish feed, patted her stomach contentedly and then dove into the lake. Soon after, she surfaced, holding a pink egg in her hands, and addressed Ruby.
"Let me study the egg first, then we’ll see."
Ruby’s interest in the egg clearly outweighed her interest in fishing. He reached to grab it, but Aqua nimbly dodged.
"No way! A mermaid’s egg can only be touched by the child’s father—unless you promise me."
"I thought mermaid mating involved..."
"Just need to spread your essence on the egg, that’s all—it’s very simple. So Ruby, just do it yourself right here and..."
Aqua explained with innocent candor, obviously not intending to use her beautiful body to help Ruby in any way—she was simply prepared to be a spectator.
"Shameless!"
Mayuna, blushing slightly, cut Aqua off. To think she’d suggest Ruby do something like that in broad daylight! What did she take her for?
"Come on, isn’t your human way of reproduction even more shameless than ours? Why are you criticizing me?"
"I... Anyway, let me tell you, Ruby, mermaids have a terrible reputation. They’ll mate with any species, and their kind are synonymous with laziness. After giving birth, the mothers disappear, leaving the fathers to raise the children. If the father refuses, the entire merfolk race will hunt him down. Don’t go looking for trouble."
Mayuna faltered, not quite sure how to continue. Of course, as an adult she knew full well how humans reproduced, and Aqua wasn’t wrong. But Mayuna wasn’t in the mood for reasoned debate—so she lumped all mermaids together and condemned them.
"You’re impossible! Is there a single other man on this mountain? You’re dooming my descendants!"
Aqua, thoroughly exasperated, conjured a water arrow with her magic and shot it at Mayuna. She’d done nothing to deserve this woman’s hostility.
"Who cares! You can’t even fulfill a wife’s duties—this is just one-sided fraud!"
Mayuna caught the water arrow between two fingers and tossed it back at Aqua, landing a hit on her head and making her eyes tear up from the pain.

"You’re mistaken. Though our lower bodies are structured differently from humans, I guarantee mermaids have just as many ways to play as humans do. Heh heh heh."
Dragon opened his heterochromatic eye and let out a twisted laugh. The people of this world were still too young—they thought mermaids couldn’t do much without legs. But Dragon, who possessed knowledge from another world, knew better.
"I’m actually curious why mermaids have such an ecology. It’s not scientific at all. As for children, I haven’t considered becoming a father."
Just as Mayuna said, mermaids could mate with any species save plants. Reproductive isolation was a paradox here—genealogy, chromosome count, it all meant nothing. As long as a mermaid’s egg came into contact with a male’s ancestral chromosomes, it would fertilize, and the offspring would always be a female mermaid. There were no male merfolk. If biologists on Earth discovered this, they’d probably claw their way out of their graves to study it.
That said, most mermaids only mated with other sea folk, since they couldn’t stay long away from water. After other sea folk painstakingly raised their daughters, the mermaids would return to their tribe to find another victim. Truly, this species had issues.
While Ruby and Aqua bickered, Ruby’s fishing rod finally jerked. With a gentle lift, the hook caught the fish’s tender mouth, and after a few pulls, a large fish was dragged from the lake and flopped vigorously on the shore.
"What a big fish."
Mayuna hadn’t expected such a large catch—standing upright, the fish was nearly half her height. Such fish were rare in inland areas.
"Hamlet!"
"?!"
At Aqua’s shout, both Ruby and Mayuna turned to her. The mermaid explained,
"That’s the fish’s name. I got bored and named all the fish here. Hamlet is the only offspring of five generations—when its parents laid their eggs, another fish ate all but this one. So pitiful. As for cooking, I suggest braising, but steaming is good too."
Aqua’s first few sentences made Mayuna hesitate to eat the fish out of sympathy, but her last words were out of place. Watching Aqua drool while offering cooking advice, Mayuna felt that arguing with this blockhead would be a defeat, so she repressed her urge to retort.
"Mayuna, get the fish."
"What did you say?"
"Did you think I brought you here just to watch? The fish here are large because of the water quality. Hauling them back takes effort—let’s call this your first step toward losing weight."
"You—you want me, the supreme mage of the Sacred Continent, the God of Magic herself, a peerless beauty, to carry a fish?"
Mayuna was so angry she wanted to crack open Ruby’s skull to see what was inside. From any perspective, hauling fish didn’t suit her at all.
"Then you can say goodbye to cake forever."
"Ugh..."
That day, the strongest and most notorious mage, Mayuna, was defeated by a single sentence from Ruby. Reluctantly, she hoisted the hefty Hamlet and began her journey home under Aqua’s watchful gaze.
"Huff, huff, I’m dying. I’m drenched in sweat and reek of fish. I can’t go on..."
Having finally hauled Hamlet into Ruby’s kitchen, Mayuna couldn’t help but collapse to her knees, covered in sweat and a powerful fishy stench. There was no trace of the mage’s former dignity left—she could only curse Ruby in her heart for being a fiend.
"The bath is ready."
Ruby patted Mayuna’s back to help her catch her breath. He knew all magicians were like this, but her stamina was truly abysmal.
"Hey, Ruby."

"Hmm?"
"I don’t know why that mermaid lied, but Aqua is the sacred name of the Water Goddess, you know. She’s the object of faith for all sea folk—no one would ever dare name a child after her."
"It doesn’t matter. Everyone has their secrets."
"True enough."
Mayuna hadn’t meant to sow discord—she just thought Ruby should be warned, lest Aqua trick him in the future. But Ruby’s answer was just as expected; he was always this guileless.
"I’m alive again... Baths really are wonderful, baths..."
Mayuna lay in the tub, sighing in pleasure. Eyes closed, she recalled the day’s events, a faint smile on her lips. Who would have thought she’d end up wrestling a fish and sweating buckets? Still, it was an interesting experience. Yet she felt she’d forgotten something. Staring at the bathwater, Mayuna fell into thought.
"Ruby! Ahhhhh!"
Mayuna dashed out of the bathroom, still wrapped only in a white towel and not even bothering with embarrassment. She clung to Ruby’s clothes, shouting.
"What is it?"
"You said Aqua is responsible for purifying all the water we use, right?"
"Yeah."
"So where does she live?!"
"...The water quality meets drinking standards."
Ruby understood exactly what Mayuna was getting at. But this water was more than ten times cleaner than Earth’s drinking water—there was no reason not to use it, as long as she could get over it psychologically.
"Where do mermaids relieve themselves?!"
"The water is rich in minerals and extremely beneficial to the body."
Ruby pretended to admire the scenery, still not giving a straight answer.
"Ugh—blegh!"
After hearing that, Mayuna clapped a hand over her mouth and rushed to the bathroom. From then on, all water supplies in Ruby’s house were managed by Mayuna alone.

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PS: Aqua’s bathwater for you all—what do you think, huh?!