Chapter 32

Before him stood Xie Ci, wearing a brown bamboo hat and a half-worn rain cape. The midnight chill and dew settled on him, dampening his mud-stained gray boots and indigo cotton shirt. Beneath the hat, most of his face was visible; once a handsome, spirited youth, his features now bore the marks of resilience and determination, his eyes suddenly deep and mature—grown up in an instant.

Spring had long since arrived. Frost and snow had melted away, the wind had lost its harsh edge, and the first shoots of grass had quietly emerged. Yet he seemed still caught in winter, shrouded in an aura of lingering frost and melancholy.

Madam Xun, Elder Sister-in-law Xie, and Second Sister-in-law Xie, seeing him thus, felt their eyes sting. Especially Madam Xun, who forced herself to smile, blinking away her tears as she beamed, “Our little fourth has grown so tall now.”

Second Sister-in-law Xie exhaled, laughing, “Come in! What are you dawdling at the door for?” Instantly, the mood brightened.

Gu Wan clapped her hands, and two little ones, Niuniu and Ming Yu—aged four and six—cheered and raced down the corridor, “Fourth Uncle, you’re home!”

“We’ve been waiting for you so long!”

Under the eaves hung two spinning lanterns, whirling at the wind’s touch, casting golden circles on the ground with their figures and celestial peaches swirling inside.

In the courtyard were racks for roasting meat, pale wine, vegetables, preserved fruits, thinly sliced beef, pork, lamb, and fruit syrup for the children in milky porcelain bowls.

But before the barbecue, there was a very important ritual.

The two children, dressed like little immortals, laughed and chattered as they pulled Xie Ci into the courtyard. The warm yellow lamplight enveloped him, banishing all the lingering cold and gloom.

Though this was but a temporary inn for a night or two, the Xie family had arranged it meticulously. Cobwebs and dust atop the eaves were cleared away; lanterns, star lights, and strings of paper lamps were hung everywhere—along the walls, branches, corridors—encircling the courtyard in twinkling warmth.

On the walls and windows, red paper cuttings depicted magpies on branches, New Year greetings, and family reunions, some straight and large, others crooked and small, pasted by the children.

Niuniu dragged out her big rooster, crafted from bamboo strips, adorned with a red comb and green paper—adorably sturdy, a New Year’s toy bought for the youngest, who insisted Fourth Uncle hadn’t seen it, carrying it all the way from a distant mountain village.

The two children debated for a long time, finally placing it at the end of the corridor near the door.

Xie Ci walked slowly, his gaze lingering over every detail. For these few steps, he looked all around, savoring the moment.

He had never been surrounded by such bustle. Family clustered around him, laughter and chatter everywhere. After carefully admiring Niuniu’s rooster, he turned to the main entrance, only to find a large round table laden with covered dishes.

Gu Wan was lighting lamps one by one, filling the room with golden glow. She turned, her smile brightening the entire hall. At the place of honor, to the right, sat a steaming bowl of longevity noodles!

Elder Sister-in-law Xie placed the noodles before him—scallions green atop, two large poached eggs nestled within. Xie Ci paused, and everyone burst into laughter, calling out in unison: “Happy birthday to Fourth Uncle!”—it was a belated birthday feast.

His seventeenth birthday had only just passed, shadowed by an encounter with Xun Rongbi, leaving him lonely with only Gu Wan at his side.

But no one had forgotten. His birthday, the missed New Year and Lantern Festival—big bowls of pork, goose, meatballs, dumplings, syrupy glutinous rice balls, and his longevity noodles.

A bowl of noodles crowned with eggs, another bowl of sweet glutinous rice balls, and a heap of dumplings, all steaming hot. Seated among his family, Xie Ci felt the warmth rise to his eyes.

He ate quietly, a tear dropping into his soup, quickly blinked away. “Don’t just sit there, eat the dishes.”

He heard Gu Wan’s laughter. The family crowded around the table, chopsticks darting back and forth, exchanging morsels.

After the meal, everyone poured into the courtyard, continuing the barbecue. Most were young and children, eating heartily. The sizzling of meat and fat dripping on charcoal sent up fragrant smoke.

The three sisters-in-law expertly grilled, needing no help. Xie Ci sat on a low stool, holding Niuniu. He touched her arm and quickly asked, “Does your hand still hurt?”

“Not anymore! I even help Mama carry firewood!”

The little girl nestled in her uncle’s arms, looking up brightly, her face cheerful and sunlit.

She raised her small hands to show how she carried wood.

Once, she was the most delicate—born premature, prone to illness, the first child of her parents, shy and timid, afraid to walk alone among strangers. Now, she was lively and bold, darting about, helping with chores.

Her tiny fingers were still fair and soft, but no longer fragile; they were healthy and strong. Xie Ci gazed at her hands, then at his busy, smiling family.

His heart surged. On this early spring night, still cold and snowy, he realized with absolute clarity: he had never been alone. His family had always been there, striving together.

He had tried to protect them, but they too had always tried to protect him.

Gu Wan poured pale wine into a broad bowl, sipping a mouthful, warmth spreading through her.

Watching the joyful, cozy scene, she sighed inwardly—what a wonderful family, so full of positivity.

She poured two bowls, pushing one to Xie Ci. Each had a child beside them, voices crisp and clear. Xie Ci looked over, she curved her lips in a smile and raised her bowl.

But she didn’t know, her pupils reflected two small flames, suddenly catching his eye. Her gentle smile and almond eyes, glowing in the lamplight, were breathtakingly beautiful.

—The Xie family’s affection for him was true, and he knew it well. Who had arranged all this, he also knew. There was no one else—it could only be Gu Wan. Through the cold, endless night, she had prepared this reunion for him, weathered and weary.

In that moment, as his family became the backdrop, a phrase came to mind: “One glance, a lifetime.” Her slight smile and the fire in her eyes struck his heart.

Xie Ci’s heart thumped uncontrollably. For a moment, he couldn’t look away.

He could even sense her breath as she leaned in, carrying a hint of fresh grass and orange blossom.

Xie Ci felt flustered, quickly grabbing the bowl and draining it in one gulp.

But he drank too quickly and choked, coughing as a bit of wine sprayed from his nose.

Gu Wan burst out laughing, “You didn’t have to drink so fast!”

Xie Ci’s lightly tanned skin flushed, a rosy blush spreading to the corners of his eyes, his handsome face revealing a rare, almost dazzling allure.

He stood up and hurried away.

Damn, so embarrassing.

Yet, after such shame and awkwardness, the last shadow in his heart vanished.

Standing on the path to the latrine, Xie Ci couldn’t help but look back. Gu Wan was braiding Niuniu’s hair, giving him a sidelong glance, her radiant beauty and the rosy firelight shining straight into his heart.

He found himself smiling unconsciously, then dashed off.

After the bonfire feast, it was deep into the night. Xie Ci quietly slipped back to his room in the front courtyard. At dawn, he left the inn and, after walking some distance, told Zhang Qing and Zheng Ying he wished to be alone for a while, sending them away.

Then he secretly returned to the inn.

Madam Xun and the sisters-in-law had already packed everything onto carts. Adults and children mounted horses or rode in carts, carrying their purchases from the county, waiting at the eastern fork in the road.

Second Sister-in-law Xie, disguised as a man with a pasted mustache, shouted in a rough voice as Xie Ci hopped onto the cart, “Off we go, off we go!”

The mule cart rattled along the yellow earth road eastward, winding through paths and back to the main road, finally arriving at their new home by evening.

It was a modest mountain village town, nestled in a valley, surrounded by twelve villages. Not too small, but the terrain was complex. Lingzhou was on the frontier; if trouble came, they could retreat into the mountains—a wisdom passed down through generations.

Though remote, it was not isolated. With rumors of war, many sought homes here; the Xie family’s move was unremarkable. The house was not large—a small two-courtyard dwelling, each with one main and two side rooms, simple but solid.

The diligent Xie family had swept the yard clean, laid out bedding, and once their iron pots and jars were moved in, could start cooking at once.

They greeted their neighbors, prepared a warm meal, and Xie Ci, under the sunset, inspected the house inside and out, feeling truly happy. He said to Gu Wan, “You’ve worked hard!”

To find such a place, Gu Wan had surely spent much effort.

She shrugged it off.

Snow still lingered on the mountain, but the stream behind the house had been freed from ice, rushing past.

The two walked along the stream, then returned through the back gate. Third Sister-in-law Xie had washed the two little monkeys clean; the children, dressed in dry clothes, cheeks flushed, followed the older siblings, helping with chores.

Seeing them return, Third Sister-in-law Xie brought out two stacks of clothes, smiling shyly, “Fourth Uncle, Sister, these are for you.”

Hand-sewn from fine cotton, three or four sets each. Third Sister-in-law Xie was young, born to a civil official, unable to wield or carry, but responsible for the family’s attire and chores.

Once a high official’s daughter, now in humble dress, her beauty undiminished. She rarely went out, and Niuniu, once as shy as her mother, now lively, thanks to her careful sewing—never forgetting Xie Ci and Gu Wan, even when they were away.

Under the setting sun, she smiled bashfully, her gentle eyes soft as southern waters. Xie Ci was moved, hurried forward, carefully took his stack, “Thank you, Third Sister-in-law. I have so many?”

The meticulous stitches spoke of her labor under the lamp. Gu Wan was touched, accepting her clothes with a gasp.

She thought, this family is too good. If things continued, perhaps she could truly let go of her past life. Her eyes reddened.

Third Sister-in-law Xie shook her head, “No need to thank me! Really.” She looked at them seriously, “You two have worked the hardest. Please, be careful outside. Our whole family must stay well.”

“Yes!” both Xie Ci and Gu Wan replied firmly.

Third Sister-in-law Xie smiled and went to help in the kitchen. In the backyard, apart from the children, only Xie Ci and Gu Wan remained.

Xie Ci blinked hard, glancing at Gu Wan, noticing her eyes were red, too.

“What are you looking at?”

Gu Wan would never tell him she was thinking of her past life.

She glared, tossed her clothes in the room, and raced to claim the bathhouse. Having won, she grinned triumphantly at Xie Ci before vanishing inside.

Yet she didn’t know how beautiful she was in the sunset. Xie Ci stood under the gallery, unable to take his eyes off her until her spirited figure disappeared behind the old pine door.

Only after a long while did he slowly look away, then looked around the courtyard she had carefully prepared—his home—feeling his heart swell.

“Hey, Little Fourth, what are you smiling at?”

Second Sister-in-law Xie, dressed as a man, burst in, catching him with a sweet smile threatening to overflow.

She clicked her tongue, leapt onto the gallery, and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Only then did Xie Ci realize he’d been smiling, quickly straightening his lips, trying to look serious. He was about to ask what she wanted when she grinned slyly, appraising him, then whispered in his ear, “Little Fourth, didn’t Sister-in-law tell you so?”

Tell him? Tell him what?

But instantly, Xie Ci understood her meaning.

A flush rose to his cheeks. He glanced hurriedly at the bathhouse, then dragged Second Sister-in-law away. “Second Sister-in-law! What nonsense are you spouting?” he whispered.

She laughed, “So nervous? Well, looks like I don’t need to interfere.” She winked, “Was it really nonsense?”

Apparently not.

This new home, though small, like every other place, had rooms for both Xie Ci and Gu Wan.

They each occupied a side room in the backyard.

On a moonlit night, after the family slept, they sat under the wooden gallery, each with a bottle of pale wine.

The local fruit wine was mild, but Xie Ci felt waves of warmth rising to his face.

Inside, the room was neat and tidy—table, bookshelf, weapon rack for his silver spear, a polished wooden bed layered with thick cotton quilts, clean and soft. Lying there, he smelled sunshine.

Late winter, early spring—cold and damp. He marveled at how his family had aired everything so thoroughly.

In this sunlit room, he felt empowered, ready once more! Su Zhen, Chen Yan, Kou Wenshao—all irrelevant! Yet, just now, his thoughts weren’t on grand matters.

He reached for the window latch, moonlight spilling across his bed. He rolled over, clutching his wildly thumping heart.

Ah, ah, ah—he really might be in love with Gu Wan!

What should he do?