Chapter 18: Vast Armies on the Move

Zhu Lian looked at Zhao Huan in front of her with great confusion, not understanding why he had suddenly come to say such inexplicable things. Unable to restrain herself, she asked, “Your Majesty, have I done something wrong? If so, please tell me and I will certainly correct it.”

The reason Zhao Huan spoke as he did was largely because, having watched so many palace dramas in later times, he wanted to give Zhu Lian a precautionary reminder; there was no other meaning to his words. He replied, “No, I’m just reminding you that things are different now. You are no longer the crown prince’s consort, but the mother of the nation. You must set an example befitting your station.”

Zhu Lian quickly nodded in agreement. Indeed, she had never imagined herself in the role of empress. Just yesterday, she had thought it a misfortune, but now that the Jin army had withdrawn, she found herself feeling rather pleased.

“Your Majesty, it’s already late. Why don’t we rest early?” Zhu Lian said shyly to Zhao Huan.

At that time, besides Empress Zhu Lian, Zhao Huan had two other consorts. As a woman living deep within the palace, she had to find ways to win her husband’s favor.

Rest early? Zhao Huan was a bit embarrassed. It was winter, so night fell early, but by the standards of later times, it was only around eight o’clock—the time when nightlife was just beginning. How could it already be late?

Still, Zhao Huan understood that in ancient times, with fewer amusements, people went to bed early to save lamp oil. In those long nights, with nothing else to do, couples would simply busy themselves with making children. That was why families in those days tended to be so large.

“No need to rush to rest. Empress, I suddenly thought of a rather fun game. Why don’t we try it together tonight?” Zhao Huan said to Zhu Lian.

Seeing Zhao Huan’s enthusiasm, Zhu Lian’s curiosity was piqued. She replied, “Very well. I wonder what sort of game it is? I only hope I won’t be bad at it.”

Zhao Huan grinned, “It’s quite simple. I’ll teach you, and with your cleverness, you’ll pick it up quickly.” As he spoke, he moved to the writing desk, took out a stack of fine cardboard, and began scribbling numbers on them with a brush.

“But this game is best played with three people. Why don’t you find someone else to join us?” he said to Zhu Lian as he prepared the game pieces.

This request gave Zhu Lian pause. It was already night, so inviting an outsider was clearly impossible, and it would not be proper to call in any of the servants. That left only the other consorts. The thought made Zhu Lian feel uneasy—what woman would willingly share a man with another?

“Shall I send for Consort De to join us?” Zhu Lian asked tentatively.

“Up to you. Such a small matter, you can decide,” Zhao Huan replied indifferently.

Though displeased, Zhu Lian nonetheless sent someone to invite Consort De.

By the time Consort De arrived, Zhao Huan had finished making the simple cardboard game. She leaned in curiously and asked, “Your Majesty, what are these?”

“Oh, these are playing cards—a game I’ve just invented. Why don’t you and the empress play with me?” Zhao Huan replied.

Examining the cards covered in strange symbols, Consort De grew even more curious. “And what do these symbols mean?” she asked.

Zhao Huan gave a brief explanation of the rules. “This game is called ‘Fighting the Landlord.’ These numbers here are one, two…”

After hearing the explanation, the two women covered their mouths and laughed. Zhu Lian said with a smile, “Fighting the Landlord? Your Majesty, aren’t you the greatest landlord of all? Are we to gang up on you?”

Only then did Zhao Huan realize that, in his present role, he truly was the greatest landlord in the land. He wasn’t offended, though, and replied cheerfully, “Very well, the two of you may try to outplay me. If you win, there will be a reward; if you lose, you’ll have to accept a punishment.”

The emperor’s women were not ordinary by any means. After hearing the rules and playing a couple of rounds, they quickly mastered the game’s tricks.

“Now that you’ve learned, let’s begin in earnest,” Zhao Huan said.

“Your Majesty, what is the punishment for losing?” Consort De asked.

Looking at the two beautiful women before him, Zhao Huan, with the mind of a modern-day recluse, couldn’t help but indulge in fantasy. He said, “How about this: if I win, the two of you will keep me company tonight.”

The prospect of one dragon with two phoenixes was something Zhao Huan had dreamed about in his later life; now he finally had the chance to make it a reality.

Both women were taken aback by his suggestion. Zhu Lian, blushing, scolded him coyly, “Your Majesty, must you tease us so?”

Consort De glanced at Zhu Lian, then, mustering her courage, said, “We will do as Your Majesty commands.”

Now things were getting interesting. Zhu Lian hadn’t expected Consort De to agree so readily, and looked at her with some displeasure. Not to be outdone, she retorted, “I was only concerned that you might be uncomfortable, Sister De. But as you have no objections, neither do I. Everything will be as Your Majesty wishes.”

Zhao Huan had spoken in jest, never expecting both women to agree. He laughed, “Very well. Since I’m in high spirits tonight, let me tell you a joke.”

Clearing his throat, Zhao Huan addressed the two women before him: “Once, during the conflict between Chu and Han, Xiang Yu was besieged by Liu Bang on the banks of the Han River. That night, he bade farewell to Yu Ji.

‘Yu Ji,’ Xiang Yu said, ‘since we are defeated, I must send you on your way tonight to prevent you from falling into enemy hands.’

‘My lord,’ Yu Ji replied, ‘I do not wish to die!’

Xiang Yu, in pain, said, ‘Nor do I wish for your death, but if you are captured, you will be at the mercy of thousands upon thousands of soldiers.’

Yu Ji thought for a moment and replied, ‘I could withstand a thousand soldiers, my lord.’

Xiang Yu, helpless, said, ‘But what about ten thousand horses?’

After finishing the joke, Zhao Huan couldn’t help but laugh to himself, only to notice that the two women before him looked rather displeased. He then realized that, given the state of the Song dynasty, such a joke might have struck a little too close to home, evoking a sense of shared melancholy.