Chapter Ninety: Naming

By the time he was ready to send out invitations to all the mansions, Ninth Brother suddenly realized that his three precious little treasures still had no names. Not only had they not been given formal names, they did not even have pet names. Truly, who knew what on earth he had been busy with for the past half month.

Only after this belated realization did the dazed Ninth Brother dig out the long list of names he had once written down. Without a moment’s delay, he hurried over to the Fragrant Dream Garden, where Yan Yan was at that very moment overcoming all obstacles in preparation to bathe the three little ones.

Although there were still a few days left before the end of her postpartum confinement, Yan Yan had already completely shed the state of seclusion. Aside from not going downstairs, she was no different from usual. Though Lady He and Mama Song had harped at her many times, Yan Yan had facts on her side. After all, her cousin in her previous life had gone straight home after giving birth and handled everything herself, and she had still lived and bounced around just fine.

And the Westerners at all did not observe any such confinement period, yet did they not all live long lives? So once Yan Yan felt her body was fully recovered, she insisted on bathing and washing herself properly, making sure she was fresh and clean all over.

Lady He and Mama Song had originally intended to complain to Ninth Brother, but considering his earlier behavior, they both abandoned the idea. Since persuasion had failed even after so long, they simply let Yan Yan do as she pleased. The same was true of bathing the children today. Here, people believed that babies were born with a layer of oil from their mother’s womb, and thus could not be bathed within the first hundred days, lest that protective film be washed away.

Of course, Yan Yan did not need to ask how her cousin from the future had done it to know this was sheer superstition. The cleaner and more orderly a child’s surroundings were kept, the lower the chance of illness. So Yan Yan rather heartlessly played the role of a landed mistress for once. The place where she lived now was spotless, so clean that the floorboards were probably cleaner than the beds in some children’s homes in her former world.

When Ninth Brother came upstairs, he saw Yan Yan with her sleeves rolled up, sitting before a large wooden tub and testing the water. He could not help asking curiously, "What are you doing?"

Yan Yan immediately smiled. "Your Highness, you have arrived at just the right time. I am about to bathe the children. Would you like to join us?"

Yan Yan was very willing to let him take part in raising the children. Though Ninth Brother was sometimes a little flustered and awkward, she believed such contact was beneficial, whether for the children or for him.

Was there not some study in later years saying that the child’s father’s character was the greatest influence on the child, and that virtues such as courage, responsibility, and fearlessness were all passed down through the father’s words and example?

"I’m afraid I won’t be much help." Ninth Brother gave an embarrassed smile. Even so, he came to Yan Yan’s side and sat down on a chair, ready to observe. Yan Yan did not insist. "Then Your Highness may just watch from there. The children love water, and they will surely be delighted."

With that, Yan Yan tested the temperature again and told the nurses, "The water must not be too hot. Let it feel warm enough for our hands."

The nurses all nodded solemnly. Ninth Brother watched Yan Yan and smiled with satisfaction. He did not know how the other women in his inner quarters were raising their children, but he was certain that none of them would bathe the babies themselves. In their eyes, such matters belonged to wet nurses and maids.

Tilting his head, Ninth Brother watched as Yan Yan first placed the Sixth Little Princess into the water. Supporting the child’s neck with one hand, she swiftly washed her arms and legs with the other, especially the tiny folds of skin. The entire process was remarkably smooth, and she did not need the wet nurse’s help at all. The Sixth Little Princess was also very cooperative, her large eyes darting about as Yan Yan washed her little feet; when Yan Yan touched them, she even giggled delightedly.

The eldest and second young masters, waiting nearby, seemed to think this was a fine idea as well, and each made a few soft little sounds. This made Ninth Brother feel that his own children were truly clever—after all, what child not yet a month old could express an opinion like that? Little did he know that the eldest and second young masters were merely making a bit of noise.

"Your Highness, come try!" Seeing Ninth Brother’s hands itching to help, Yan Yan rolled up her sleeves and crouched opposite him. With a smile, she said, "Then Your Highness can wash them. Those little folds need a bit of strength; there are many tiny clumps of dirt hidden there."

Ninth Brother reached out to wash them and, sure enough, discovered those little clumps. He laughed at once. "So there really are some. They’re still so small—where would such things come from?"

Yan Yan burst out laughing. "Listen to what Your Highness is saying. Because they’re small, are they not supposed to get dirty? This is exactly what being unclean looks like. If they accidentally get into a child’s mouth, the child is bound to fall ill."

Ninth Brother instantly shot her a glance. "Pah, pah, pah. Is that any way to speak as a mother? Spit three times and say that again."

Yan Yan thought Ninth Brother was terribly childish. Just then, the eldest young master let out a couple of vague cries, and Ninth Brother immediately said, "See? Even our son doesn’t like hearing that."

Yan Yan pursed her lips. "Who says that? The eldest young master is clearly saying that his father is being too nervous. Isn’t that right, eldest young master?"

Whenever Yan Yan spoke to the children, her tone became especially playful and childlike. Ninth Brother found it amusing every single time.

Looking at the eldest young master’s little folds, Ninth Brother felt they all seemed to contain traces of dirt and asked with some concern, "Should we use soapberry on them?"

Yan Yan shook her head. "Forget it. Who knows whether it might affect their skin? Just use water. Water is the safest."

Ninth Brother nodded, feeling that Yan Yan made perfect sense.

Lady He, standing quietly to one side, was utterly speechless. She felt that their Ninth Master was probably doomed to fall into Yan Yan’s hands for the rest of his life. How could he still resemble the Ninth Master they used to know?

Yet Ninth Brother himself felt nothing was amiss. He efficiently bathed the three children, changed them into clean clothes, and played with them for a while. Only then did he suddenly remember why he had come in the first place.

Yan Yan also only then realized that she had forgotten the matter of naming the children completely. Mainly because those transmigration novels had influenced her too much; once one thought of imperial households, it was all princes and princesses, and one simply could not remember any names.

But Yan Yan absolutely did not approve of the names Ninth Brother had chosen. What were they? Some sounded like brave warriors, others like lions and tigers, all of them leaving her utterly speechless. As for the girls’ names, they were either this little leaf or that little leaf.

Yan Yan recalled how in later times daughters were affectionately called little coats, little sweethearts, and the like. So she said simply, "Why not call the Sixth Little Princess Sweetheart? What does Your Highness think?"

Ninth Brother immediately glanced at her. "A sweet pastry? The sort that leaves crumbs when one bites into it?"

Yan Yan could no longer look at the name after that explanation and gave up at once. She thought of several others, such as Ina and Belle, but those were all rejected by Ninth Brother as well.

In the end, Yan Yan thought herself nearly headache-stricken. Looking at the three children, already sleeping so soundly, she said with some discouragement, "Your Highness, a child’s name follows them for life. Let us think about it properly a little longer."

Ninth Brother, too, looked at the sleeping faces of the three children and gently drew Yan Yan into his arms. "If we delay any longer and do not send out the invitations, I’m afraid we won’t make it in time for the full-month banquet."

Yan Yan was somewhat vexed. She had originally planned to use the banquet to recoup the money lost from the third-day celebration. Who would have thought everything would be halted by nothing more than a name? Still, she was a principled person and knew what mattered most. So she said a little sheepishly, "Your Highness, perhaps we should not hold the full-month banquet at all."

Ninth Brother froze. "Just because they do not have names?"

Yan Yan nodded. "Yes. Everyone else has names, but our children do not. When they grow up and learn of it, might they not blame us? Why not simply not hold it? After all, when they are older, we can tell them we did it to protect them, and that is why we did not hold the full-month banquet."

Ninth Brother turned her around in mild confusion and laid a hand on her forehead. "You don’t have a fever, so why are you talking nonsense?"

Yan Yan immediately pouted and muttered, "Your Highness is trying to say I’m foolish, aren’t you? Haven’t you heard that pregnancy makes one foolish for three years? You’ll just have to endure it."

Ninth Brother smiled deeply. Seeing Yan Yan’s coy, affectionate expression, his heart stirred at once. He kissed her for quite a while before saying, "Yes, I shall endure it. Even if you were foolish for a lifetime, I would still endure it."

Yan Yan’s face turned red at once, which only made Ninth Brother itch all the more. After kissing her wantonly for a time, he still remembered that her body had not fully recovered and did not act recklessly. Thus, the three children’s full-month banquet was canceled for such a reason that was hardly a reason at all.

Naturally, the people inside and outside the palace were both baffled by Ninth Brother’s decision to cancel the banquet. Even Emperor Kangxi, driven by curiosity, sent out several waves of secret guards before finally uncovering the truth.

Once he learned it, Kangxi was nearly driven to spit blood by Ninth Brother’s antics. He also felt deep sympathy for the fate of the Sixth Little Princess and the two young princes. To Li Dequan, Kangxi complained, "That Ninth Brother truly knows nothing of proper business. What’s wrong with the name Sweetheart? Isn’t it rather nice? Crumbling pastry, too—he even managed to come up with that. I am issuing an imperial decree: from now on, the Sixth Little Princess shall be called Sweetheart. She must be called Sweetheart."

What could Li Dequan say? Naturally, he could only praise the emperor’s wisdom.

So one can imagine how vexed Ninth Brother was when, while he was still in his study racking his brains over his children’s names, he suddenly received an imperial edict from Kangxi. His Sixth Little Princess was bestowed the name Sweetheart, the eldest young master was named Hongzheng, and the second young master was named Hongzhang.

But the frustrated Ninth Brother did not take the edict to Kangxi to have the names changed. Instead, he went to settle accounts with the Tenth Brother. After all, he had only mentioned the children’s names to the Tenth Brother. Since Kangxi knew them so clearly now, who else could have leaked the secret?

The Tenth Brother naturally cried out in innocence, while not forgetting to criticize his imperial father for being underhanded, to have actually investigated something like this all the way through.

And as if Kangxi feared the shock to Ninth Brother had not been enough, another imperial edict came chasing Ninth Brother to the Tenth Brother’s residence. When Ninth Brother heard it, he grew even more depressed.