Chapter 17: Far Too Difficult

No need to worry—if something belongs to you, it will never escape.
No need to be troubled—if it doesn’t belong to you, no matter how you desire it, you cannot obtain it…
Somehow, the lyrics from "Never Apart" drifted into my mind.
Eight hundred meters—I truly do not wish to claim it, but I cannot escape it either.
I walked over to the freshly marked track; the paint hadn't fully dried yet, gleaming blindingly white.
A wave of dizziness overtook me, and I thought, "If it's cloudy when I run, is it possible I might faint?"
"Lingyin, what are you staring at? Class is about to start!" Someone called out to me at that moment.
It was Cui Ling and a few other girls, leaving the dormitory and heading toward the teaching building. Seeing me standing on the field in a daze, they called for me to join them.
"Coming!" I shouted back.
I took one last look at the track, then turned and ran toward Cui Ling and the others.
Ah, since I cannot change it, I must face it bravely.
The next morning, I specifically asked my mother to boil two eggs for me. They say eating eggs replenishes physical strength.
My aunt, before giving birth, ate six eggs in one go and then delivered my cousin smoothly.
Six eggs is beyond me, but I forced down two, hoping they'd help.
When I arrived at school, tension filled every corner of the campus. After all, the exam standards had been raised, and this time, it wasn’t our own teachers proctoring, but officials sent from higher authorities.
I clenched my fists nervously.
Today, the entire morning was devoted to the exam, beginning at half past eight. The boys’ one-thousand-meter run came first, followed by the girls’ eight-hundred-meter.
Twenty students per group; anyone who failed to finish within the stipulated time would be deemed unqualified.
The boys were already preparing.
Apart from a few exceptionally athletic ones who had nothing to worry about, most of them were nervous, since this determined whether they could advance to the next grade.

Some borrowed spike shoes—the kind said to prevent slipping while running.
I’d never worn spike shoes myself. If someone accidentally stepped on another’s foot, would it leave a hole?
Well, there I go again, letting my thoughts wander.
The first group was ready. At the teacher’s command, the boys surged forward from the starting line.
The strong remained strong, effortlessly pulling ahead in the lead.
The weaker boys still struggled, but persevered.
Classmates stood nearby, cheering them on.
Soon, the group finished, and surprisingly, they all passed!
Several groups followed, and the boys’ exam was complete.
Out of all the groups, about a dozen failed to pass.
Finally, it was time for the girls.
Standing for so long, my heels began to ache, but I dared not leave. I kept watching.
Since the test went by class order, and we were Class One, we were first.
Ge Xin had arrived early, previously cheering for the boys in her class.
Seeing me about to run, she hurried over.
"Lingyin, I’ll watch you run. Give it your all!"
I nodded. "Yes, I’ll do my best!"
Suddenly, a tragic sense of resolve overcame me, like the ancient verse, "The wind is bleak at Yi River, the hero departs never to return."
I bent down to check my shoelaces once more.
Then walked to the starting line and paused.
Silently, I told myself—hold on…

At the teacher’s command, I felt as though someone had kicked me, stumbling awkwardly forward.
After only half a lap, my legs began to ache.
After one full lap, my arms felt disconnected from my body, swinging mechanically back and forth.
Another half lap, and I could barely keep running. My legs felt leaden, impossibly heavy, and my pace slowed.
"Keep going, Lingyin! Don’t stop! You haven’t run out of time yet, hurry!"
It was Ge Xin, standing outside the track, running alongside me.
My head spun—I couldn’t see her face clearly, only hear her voice.
Each breath felt like agony in my chest; my throat seemed filled with blood.
I summoned every ounce of strength, pushing forward—about a hundred meters left.
Each step landed with a jarring force, the recoil aching my knees, my whole body threatening to fall apart.
Finally, just before I thought I might faint, I crossed the finish line.
My ears buzzed, my soul seeming to drift out of my body.
Someone slapped me hard, "Lingyin, you did it! Haha!"
It was Ge Xin. What was she saying? I passed?
Heavens! Did I really pass?
My throat burned too much to speak, my lungs felt ready to burst—I could only nod again and again.
Tears brimmed in my eyes; this had been so hard…